Procrastination is not my friend.
And today was basically a bowlful of pooey, aside from some foodie revelations.
(PB+crackers and frozen strawberries+almond milk snacky. Ohmigosh. MUCHAS GRACIAS a Emily for that yummay combo!)
..It deserves either a post to itself, or to be never spoken of again.
Ergo, THIS postie is all 'bout Sundaaay, bloody Sundaaay.
Sorry. Couldn't resist.
Luff me some U2, and you, too. =D
Get it?
I made joke.
Hurhur.
Okay. Down to serious business: BREKKIE.
Toasted English muffin with almond buttah, strawberries, and a drizzle of spun honey, with Activia and tea.
Them halves were lookin' a likkle lonely by their onesies..
WARNING. NOT SAFE FOR VIRGIN EYES.
So I made 'em into a love-wich. Ooh la la.
Despues, I puttered around the house for awhile, read a tad, and got meself ready for work.
Yay.
I also made this.
Toastie ham+cheese sammie, almond milk, and Oreos.
Oh noez! Return of teh oreoz!
But not for long!
NOM NOM NOM.
Work was pleh. Little slow, so time dragged.
Except I saw Kevin twice = squee!
Oh, and I had something of an eye-opener.
I saw myself. Really saw myself.
Not slightly-chubby Morgan, with stumpy legs and chipmunk cheeks.
I was walking towards a set of glass doors on my break, heading for my car. They were reflective, like a giant mirror.
I literally stopped and looked over my shoulder.
Because that scared-looking little girl couldn't have been me.
No one there.
Glanced back at my reflection, and saw the wide-eyed, slender girl with tiny wrists staring back at me.
(No wonder people ask me if I'm old enough to work alla time. Harumph.)
As I goggled, she morphed back into chubster Morgy.
But I had seen her. Me. I had seen me.
Now, in quick little glimpses, I keep seeing the same image. ED mutters that I'm seeing things - that I'm losing my marbles.
But I know better.
Although I'm not sure that I like what I see. Right now, I'm out-of-sorts about a lot of things.
Moving on. As I was a'sayin, I was walkin' to mi carro. Which, of course, meant..
Apple!
Larabar!
Ain't nuttin NOT ta like.
And pooey on your grammer.
Yay.
I also made this.
Toastie ham+cheese sammie, almond milk, and Oreos.Oh noez! Return of teh oreoz!
But not for long!
NOM NOM NOM.
Work was pleh. Little slow, so time dragged.
Except I saw Kevin twice = squee!
Oh, and I had something of an eye-opener.
I saw myself. Really saw myself.
Not slightly-chubby Morgan, with stumpy legs and chipmunk cheeks.
I was walking towards a set of glass doors on my break, heading for my car. They were reflective, like a giant mirror.
I literally stopped and looked over my shoulder.
Because that scared-looking little girl couldn't have been me.
No one there.
Glanced back at my reflection, and saw the wide-eyed, slender girl with tiny wrists staring back at me.
(No wonder people ask me if I'm old enough to work alla time. Harumph.)
As I goggled, she morphed back into chubster Morgy.
But I had seen her. Me. I had seen me.
Now, in quick little glimpses, I keep seeing the same image. ED mutters that I'm seeing things - that I'm losing my marbles.
But I know better.
Although I'm not sure that I like what I see. Right now, I'm out-of-sorts about a lot of things.
Moving on. As I was a'sayin, I was walkin' to mi carro. Which, of course, meant..
Apple!
Larabar!
Ain't nuttin NOT ta like.And pooey on your grammer.
Heeyars yur food porn of the day!Drooling is acceptable.
Finished my jail ti-*cough*-hours at work, sped home (I mean, what? I don't speed...*ahem*), and read my bookie straight from 4:30 until 10:00.
Well, not the WHOLE time.
I took a break to conjure up this magical wonder, inspired by Erin - mah sistah from 'notha mistah. =D
Well, not the WHOLE time.
I took a break to conjure up this magical wonder, inspired by Erin - mah sistah from 'notha mistah. =D
*deeep breath* Cinnamon-nutmeg-brown sugar-golden raspberry pancake, and an omlette-turned-scrambled-eggs made with cheese and salsa and enjoyed with SOWAH CREEM.
That was a mouthful.
And a tummyful.
But I still had room for white chocolate raspberry ice cream!
There's just sumtin 'bout pink food.
It maketh me happeh. =]
That was a mouthful.
And a tummyful.
But I still had room for white chocolate raspberry ice cream!There's just sumtin 'bout pink food.
It maketh me happeh. =]
So now I'm off to boogie s'more with mah Lady Gaga.
Or sleep.
Guess that would be more practical.
..
Practical? Psshhhh...
Or sleep.
Guess that would be more practical.
..
Practical? Psshhhh...
10 comments:
i have to say, your brekkie looks so YUMMY, omg :o
i'm so jealous right now :p
nice blog swettie :)
kiss kiss
<3<3
THAT PIC OF YOUR BREKKY IS PURE FOOD PORN AT IT'S BEST!
I swear..I drooled a lil =P
I am so incredibly happy to hear that you've caught little glimpses of who you REALLY are, what you really see of yourself and not of what ED deems as fact.
You're making leaps and bounds mah dear, and I can't get this smile off my face because of that fact right there. =)
By de way..did you create that cinnamon-nutmeg-brown sugar-golden raspberry pancake yourself? All those explosion of flavours sound INCREDIBLEEEE!
Hope you had a good sleep =D
xoxo
Hahaaaaaaaa Morgan, I love your blog so much! It always makes me smile :]
I'm glad you've caught a glance of who you really are. As you progress with recovery you'll keep seeing the real you more and more, and eventually ED's perception of you will disappear! So keep up the good work.
Wowza, that pancake looks amazing! Those flavors sound like a great combo. You must come to my house and make breakfast for me.
Enjoy your day, much love!
Uhhh, sorry about the drool that now covers your blog. I couldn't help myself after seeing your breakfast! :)
Glad you liked the strawberry+almond milk combo. It's tastiness to the extreme.
YAY! Congrats on seeing yourself, the true you! That's such a huge step. <3 ED's gradually losing his control over you and he knows it, so he tries to make you feel like there's something weird about being healthy. He's such a sore loser! Give him a swift kick to the butt and send him flying. ;)
Delicious dinner and dessert! I see you don't have fro-yo tonight so that means he's alone... unprotected. :o *sneaks to your freezer, steals it, and runs away* Don't mind meeee.
<3 Have a great day, chica.
I love moments like those when you just get a glimspe, even if only for a fraction of a second of who you really are. I get them every so often now and I try to remind myself of that person everytime I am having a really bad row with ED. Hehe I am an englishmon..
Don't freak out or anything cuz they are definitely and good thing. It means that ED is losing control and you are getting stronger!
Love and hugs!
~Raina
hi girlie
WOWZER that din dins looks heavenly...i want to reach into the comp and grab me some!and me likey the larabars..havent come across that flava yet!
i think theres rare moments when we see what we REALLY look like, not what ed tells us we look like and those moments can be a shock...when we realize how small and fragile we look...and how much ed distorts everything.
white choc rasberry ice cream?? mmm...tasty!! your making me drool!
have a nice night mdear, nighty night
mucho love
xxxxx
mo! im so happy for right now - im ecstatic! because when we see our real self, with out ed, it is bone chilling. and unbelievable. i can recall experiencing similar moments in time and it makes me wonder why i just cant let go of ed. what does he bring me? comfort and control. but so what? he is so damn destructive! but its hard to accept that we will never be thin enough or sick enough for his standards so we never break the barriers. and i know it will take time for these moments to stay but never the less, you should be so proud of yourself for how far you have come in recovery! by seeing the real morgan, this shows that you are back on track and taking control of your mind and life and body. you are the best - keep on fighting!
as for the food porn! oh my goodness! you are fabulous eater and photographer my love :) the strawberry-honey-pb! and the cinnamon roll lara and cinnamon-spice raspberry pancakes! and beautiful pink ice cream! im speechless <3 and somehow there is always room for ice cream in my little tummy ;) it makes me super happy too. between my dad and i - you should see our freezer haha! [p.s is that stonyfield farms frozen yogurt? ive been wanting to try this since im off soy!]
i hope you are having a fantastic tuesday sweetie! i love you a million mini oreos! <333
p.s procrastination is worst virtue! and i always save school reading until the last minute. but somehow i always make time to pleasure read :)
p.p.s to answer your questions lol: carob tastes like chocolate but with a nutty-aftertaste? i think you might like it! and i agree that amy's shepards and tamale pies sadly are too small - but perfect snacking size :) and regarding the blind weigh in - i can relate! i still get anxious and restrict because ed seems to tell me that ive gained x amount every week. i find the ''unknown'' very irritating and soemtimes i wonder what would happen if i knew. but we have to remember that we are not defined by numbers! i hope you are staying strong and positive! keep smiling beautiful - im thinking of you today at therapy and i cant wait to hear about it! we will get though this together :) im always here for you.
Yummy food stuffs today!
You are really a great photographer.
I think it's great that you caught a glimpse of what you really look like today too!
♥
I still don't see it with me though...I'm always flabbergasted when somebody comments that I'm pretty and thin. >_<
Anywhoozles...have a great rest of today!
Almond butter+strawberries! Larabar! your foodies are just fantastic.
Getting a REAL glimpse of ourselves with Ed can be disturbing, but it's a good thing we can see it for what it truly is.
OH MY STUPID FRICKEN GOSH BOSH KABOSH!
MY LITTLE SIDE BAR WAS SAYING YOU HAVEN'T UPDATED SINCE SATURDAY SO I MISSED THIS POST UNTIL TO-FRICKEN-DAY!
yayyyyyyyyy for inspiriing people!
YAYYYY MORRRGSTER!
okay,
kev kev kev. be careful with my little morgy bear! i don't like to share tooo much :(
KEEP THAT VISION, that glimpse you had of your real self and work on it.. get all angry and tell yaself that you were just as cute and bubbly before!
and happier!! not to mention!
your food looks scrumpdiddlyumptious as normal!
you read alottt:)
heheh i love it.. what do ya read my lady!?
oh. being waitlisted is no fun for surrre..
but i don't care because i just wanna get out of the dirrttty jerz!
<3
love you so so soo much.
kinda like how cinnamon nutmeg brown sugar love mixing with golden raspberry pancakeness.
WAS IT GOOD!?
<3 obsesseddd
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