Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The ugly truth.

This post has been a long time coming, I'm afraid. And I doubt it's going to come as a surprise to many of you, but this will be my last post on this blog - if not indefinitely, for a very long time. I've been thinking about it for awhile, and the mass-exodus of other bloggers in the past couple weeks has finally made up my mind.

I started "Dancing to Recovery" with the intention of getting support and a chance to see my recovery in a new light. And, for awhile, it did exactly that. But I've grown tired of the negativity that has taken ahold of the ED blogosphere, and the last thing I need is to get swept up in it.

As I write this, I'm in the middle of a minor relapse. And I know I can snap out of it, but I need to stop relying on blogging as a crutch and figure out how to deal with things like this in real life.

I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh. I don't want to offend anyone. You girls have helped me get through some terribly rough times, and I'm so, so grateful to all of you.

But as I head into the next few years of my life in college (the "best" years of my life, some would say) I've realized how much I need change. I need a life that doesn't revolve around obsessing about everything I put in my mouth and the minutes of exercise I do to make up for it. I need to get out in the open air and sunshine - not stay in my room in front of a computer screen.

I need to learn to fight, love, and live fully.

Am I going to stop blogging entirely? Probably not. I'm addicted to writing and photography, now, so I will likely make the switcheroo over to Wordpress and start a new blog with a non-ED focus.

All this said, I'm still always available to anyone who needs support over Facebook, AIM, and email. You've all been there for me, and I want to be there for you, too.

So now, as per usual, I've rambled long enough. I wish all of you the best in recovery, and much love.

~Morgan

9 comments:

Chanel said...

You will learn to fight, love, and live fully because I've seen you do it before, I love you

Jenny said...

I am so sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time right now, sweetheart. I wish you all the happiness and health in the world. Best of luck with your recovery, darling -- and keep up the fight!

don't be a stranger, i'm always here if you need anything: peanutbutterandjenny12@yahoo.com.. never hesitate to contact me!

keep smiling babe
lots of love,
Jenny

CaSaundraLeigh said...

I'm sad--but happy that your following your heart! You've been an awesome bloggie friend--add me on facebook. CaSaundra Casillo. Xo!

rediscoveringlauren said...

hi sweetheart,

Im sorry to hear your going through a rough time right now...remeber chica, im always here for you, 110 percent!!! Just drop me an email whenever you wanna chat! also remeber how incredibly strong you are and how far uve come!! your a fighter hun, and you can and will get past this minor relapse. have faith, hope and remeber how amazing you really are!!
I fully support your decision to not blog anymore about the ed. whatever helps you is whats important!!
i shall be facebooking you to keep in touch :) i feel like we have a friendship thats too precious to let go of!
loves u dollface,
xxxx

glambaa said...

as much as i'm sad to see you leave, i'm glad because i think this is truly the TRUE morgan speaking for her own self and for what she truly needs... i hope you[ll do fantastically well in college, actually, scratch that, i KNOW you'll do fantastically well in college, and i wish you all the best in luck :) are we allowed to follow you on to your photog and writing blog?
take care,
jee :)

katiefranknos said...

:(

I hope you can get out of this relapse, I'm sure you can actually. You're a fighter, as I and so many others have seen in your posts, and you can make it through this.

Also, I really hope college is good to you.

I'll be sad not to see your blog updated any more though. :(

Good luck with the future x

Stacey said...

I have no doubt in my mind you'll make it through this relapse. You have so much strength and courage. Although I'm sad you won't be updating the blog anymore, I fully support and respect your decision. I think ED blogging gives us more of a reason to hold on to ED, you know? Well lovie, I think you are making a wonderful choice in ending the blog and I wish you the best! I shall find you on FB, as I would never ever want to lose touch wif you!
Love you tons!

Jennifer said...

Morgan,
Your blog was a blessing to me. Thank you for taking the time to do it. I am grateful. Many blessings to you.
Jennifer Roberts 73jennifer@gmail.com

spidersfrommars said...

I am so sorry you are struggling a bit, Morgan.
Your blog was inpiring and it helped me so much to get better.
I am going through a relapse as well and have come back to get better.
I wish you the best, my love