The ugly truth.

This post has been a long time coming, I'm afraid. And I doubt it's going to come as a surprise to many of you, but this will be my last post on this blog - if not indefinitely, for a very long time. I've been thinking about it for awhile, and the mass-exodus of other bloggers in the past couple weeks has finally made up my mind.

I started "Dancing to Recovery" with the intention of getting support and a chance to see my recovery in a new light. And, for awhile, it did exactly that. But I've grown tired of the negativity that has taken ahold of the ED blogosphere, and the last thing I need is to get swept up in it.

As I write this, I'm in the middle of a minor relapse. And I know I can snap out of it, but I need to stop relying on blogging as a crutch and figure out how to deal with things like this in real life.

I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh. I don't want to offend anyone. You girls have helped me get through some terribly rough times, and I'm so, so grateful to all of you.

But as I head into the next few years of my life in college (the "best" years of my life, some would say) I've realized how much I need change. I need a life that doesn't revolve around obsessing about everything I put in my mouth and the minutes of exercise I do to make up for it. I need to get out in the open air and sunshine - not stay in my room in front of a computer screen.

I need to learn to fight, love, and live fully.

Am I going to stop blogging entirely? Probably not. I'm addicted to writing and photography, now, so I will likely make the switcheroo over to Wordpress and start a new blog with a non-ED focus.

All this said, I'm still always available to anyone who needs support over Facebook, AIM, and email. You've all been there for me, and I want to be there for you, too.

So now, as per usual, I've rambled long enough. I wish all of you the best in recovery, and much love.

~Morgan

Nom?

Well, looking back on my last few posts, I realized they were entirely devoid of food pornage.

...

*GASP*

So, to reassure you blogettes that I am indeed still enjoying delicious foodicles, and ALOT of them, how about some photog of my recent eats?

Sound good?

Mhmkay. Thought so.

So, to begin:

...what IS that, you ask?

Why, cherry Fage with crumbly graham crackers, of course.
= Cherry creme pie!

Uh. Can you say yum?

(Also - note my snazzy new bowl. Roadtrip purchases ftw.)

Other 'licious snackies have also been consumed, among them:

Cherry Pie Larabar.

With a cold glass of almond milk = perfection.

Review: I know that a lot of bloggers have given this bar the thumbs-down because of its tartness. But I loved it! I think my sweet tooth may be taking a bit of a back-seat, nowadays...(Horror!)

Also, I've rekindled my love for Greek yogurt with a healthy dosage of Fage. Because sometimes Activia just doesn't cut it...
(Kidding, Lauren, m'dear. I'm still an Activia-lover at heart. ;] )

Best snack evaaaarr.

Oh. Baby.
The things I would do to have 113094205 more of these in my fridge.
But they're oh-so-expensive. =[

Lessee. What else?

Oh! Of course!

I madez bread all by me onesy!

Yup. Well, with the help of a machine....but still.

Gosh. I love the versatility of bread. It's like a blank canvas.

You can toast it, throw some jam on it, and pair it with yoggie and fruit...And voila! Breakfast.

Or smother it in mustard, cheese, ham, lettuce and tomato, add some chips and yogurt-y raisins...And voila! Lunch.

Last but not least, I've been dutifully following my breakfast-for-dinner-at-least-once-a-week rule. See below:

Blue cheese buckwheat waffle with Morgasmic salad.
("Morgasmic" being just another word for "I-can't-remember-what-I-threw-in-there-but-it-was-pretty-dern-delicious".)

In other news: Disneyland.

Yes, it was stressful. Yes, I struggled quite a bit with keeping myself on track. Yes, I didn't quite manage to meet my caloric requirements for most of the days and am paying for it now.

But was it worth it?

Hellz yes.

Between having dessert at the Blue Bayou, the restaurant inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride:
(HIGHLY recommended, btw. Avoid paying the normal $30/plate for an actual meal. Yikes.)

The atmosphere. (And moi.)

The food: A cookie "boat" topped with 'nilla ice cream and smothered in 23095245 different yummy sauces.
Drooling is permitted.

Being a dork with my (personalized) Mickey Mouse ears:

Hur hur.

Being a dork in general with Kevin:

Tower of Terror.
(Lulz at the couple in the back.)

California Screaming.
Front row = whootwhoot!

And enjoying all the sparkle of Disneyland's famous Electric Parade:

Tink.

Coolest float by far.

...I had an amazing time. Worth every penny.

Can't wait to go back! Supposedly Disneyland at Christmas is pretty effin' spectaculous. Methinks I'll get an annual pass (it's only an hour away from Scripps! SCORE.) and head back around then. *nodnod*

Mhmk. So I know this is turning out to be an epically-long post, and I appreciate those of you who have stuck with my until now, but there's one teeny last thing that's happened since I last updated...

I'M LEGAL NOW!

WATCH OUT. =D

Yup, my Facebook buddies doubtless already know this, but I turned the big "One-eight" on Saturday.

Do I feel any different? Naw.

But supposedly the government says that I can buy porn vote now, which is pretty exciting. None of the other perks of being 18 (buying cigs, for instance. No lung cancer for this girl!) are really appealing.

Still, I guess it's nice to finally be considered an adult.

And birthdays always give me an excuse to do some of my favorite things, among them:

Bonfire-ing on the beach.

Blowing out b-day cake candles.

And enjoying said cake with a hefty scoop of ice cream!

Okay, I think I've blerbed long enough, now. Hope y'all are having a splendifferous day!

Much luffs <3

~M

The happiest place on Earth!

Hey chicas. =]

So I'm going to be in Disneyland from today until next Tuesday or Wednesday. Thought I'd update y'all so you'd know I'm not dead. But never fear - I'll be back with a nomlicious post chock-full of food porn!

Much luff. <3

~M

Canada likes it on top.

Hello sugarpants! Gosh - I've missed you girlies bunches!

Sorry this post is late in coming. It seems that whenever I go on vacation to "get away from it all" the "it all" is just waiting to pounce on me when I get back. Like this.

Buuuut I've managed to escape the monotony of work, chores, etc long enough to do a bit of blogging today. Got SO much to update y'all on..

So. First things first - Roadtrippin'.

It was a pretty fanfreakintabulous experience, let me tell you.

Well, actually...telling the WHOLE shebang would take more time and brainpower than I'd like, so we'll just touch upon the highlights, 'kay?

Mmkay.

(Disclaimer: I took well over 200 pictures. I've done my best to whittle them down for y'all, but still...there is an avalanche of photography coming your way. You have been warned.)

But first, a brief summary:

So..Mum and I started off in NorCal where we live, made our merry way up through Oregon and Washington, kicked back a few days in Victoria, Canada and then moseyed back down Highway 101 towards Cali.

All in 9 days.

Phew.

Alrighty. And now here goes my best effort to chronicle our escapades through photography..

California

Goodgraciousme. If you've never been to The Avenue of the Giants in Northern Cali, you are seriously missing out. These trees are freakin' ginormicous.

They're so big, in fact, that I created that special adjective JUST FOR THEM.

Sigh. And redwoods smell so deliciously pine-y, too.
I want to go back..

And another fun/relatively unknown way to get a good look at California's hidden beauty - the Skunk Train.

(Named not because it runs on skunk juice, but because it runs on diesel, which I guess some people think smells icky. I personally love the smell of diesel. Don't judge.)

Cuter than Thomas. That's for sure.

View from the front.

Oregon

God, this state is beautiful. I seriously mean it. It felt like we were driving through a post card. PLUS they fill up your gas for you. Sweeeeet.

Anyhow.

On the way up, we stopped by Crater Lake, which was...wow.

Photos don't do it justice.
At all.

We also saw this fabulous sunset. Postcard-tastic.

Then, on our way back to Cali, we stumbled upon what was undoubtedly the highlight of the trip. It went something like this.

"...a walk-through safari? AGHMOMSTOPTHECAR!"

*SCREEEEECH*

We miiight have worn down a half inch of tread with that little maneuver.
But honestly...the tire damage was so. worth. it.

Allow me to explain.

Yes, those are lion cubs.

Yes, I got to hold one.

Oh lordy. I thought I was going to have a cutegasm.
But there were little kiddies around so I managed to control myself.

...er.

Moving on.

Baby opossum!
I know. Some people think they're gross.
But I think they're just misunderstood.

Daddy lion.

Tiger being...tiger-y.

White tiger.

Zebras.

Exceptionally large guinea pigs Capybaras.

Deer.

Baby leopard!
He was a feisty little guy. Didn't get a chance to hold him. =/

We also spent some time in Seaside on our way back. Seriously adorable little town.

Me looking cold.

And, of course, when we realized it was along our route, we HAD to stop here:

Fresh cheese and ice cream?

Uhm. Yes please.

Washington

When we made it to Washington, things reeeeally began to cool down.

Brr.

But it was nice and toasty inside this building here.

I always thought the Space Needle looked like a UFO on stilts.

...is that just me?

Later, we visited my dad's godmother at her home in Dupont, where I FINALLY got a chance to take a walk and stretch my legs.

And you know what that means...

Flower photog!
C'mon. You know you dig it too. ;P

Canada

We decided to ferry our car from Anacortes, Washinton into Sidney, BC. Fascinating experience.

(Hint: It's fun to pull out your GPS and watch it freak out when it realizes your car's immediate location is in a large body of water. Do it sometime.)

On the boat, they had all sorts of neat merchandise. Including this. Heehee.

Mum disapproved. Wah.

Once in Canada, we wound up utterly befuddled. 95 kilometers per hour? 14 degrees celcius? And let's not get into currency conversions. Holy mackerel.

Needless to say, we basically collapsed on our hotel room beds and watched Canadian TV for the rest of the night. (Which is, for the record, awesome. Lovin' the Tim Hortons commercials.)

But the next day we woke up bright and early and ready for adventure! The metric system could not daunt our determination!

Uh. Yeah. So we started with a tour of the Craigdarroch Castle, which was absolutely stunning. And I got to play a sooper old Steinway piano. =]

*swoon*

We fueled up on candy bars at the gift store, because chocolate and peanuts are pretty much the best form of nutrition on Earth.

Mouthgasm in a package.

Then we moved along to the Buchart Gardens.

I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves..

I assure you, there's about 120934603460936 more. But I'm practicing a little self control here. Just for you guys. =]

So after traipsing around the gardens for 2 hours, we were famished. Thankfully, we had reservations at the Fairmont Empress for high tea.

For those of you that don't know - high tea is basically an excuse to dress up and act prissy while you devour little sandwiches and pastries and lightly sip expensive teas.

And I loved it.

The ladies.

The food.
Yum.

Mmkay. And that's the end of my photo spiel.

So, it may seem like I had little time to listen to ED's petty annoyances on this trip, but the truth is...I did worry quite a bit. There was a lot of heavy food and a lot of sitting in the car. I was SURE I had gained at least a few pounds.

So imagine my shock when I hopped on the scale at home and it told me the same thing it did last time.

I maintained.

But you know what? That's okay.

I went back to my nutritionist this week, and we re-evaluated my frame size. She had previously put down "medium", which would mean I'd need to be at least 117 pounds to be at a healthy weight. But we re-did the test and I'm actually "small", so I could be anywhere from 105-117 and be fine.

And since I'm right smack in the middle of that range, I don't need to gain anymore.

HUZZAH.

The only drawback of this is that I need to be extra-careful with my bones and calcium intake, now. She says it's very likely I still have bone-thinning (osteopenia) from the abuse I put my body through, and that coupled with the fact that I already have a smaller frame puts me at high risk for fractures.

Yikes.

But hey - I'm all for more dairy. Yummm. Bring on the calcium!

Hmm. What other news am I forgetting..?

Oh!

Got my nose pierced!

Yeah, a bit of a spur-of-the-moment decision. I actually wanted to get a tattoo done this summer (I've designed it already - will show in a later post), but Mum and I talked about it and we decided I need to take more time to think about it before I get it done. I was a little bummed out, though, so we started talking less permanent/reversible options...and voila!

It stung a bit, but I'm overall happy about how it turned out. =]

Wow. Sorry, I know this was a long post. I certainly don't blame you if you skimmed it. Next one will be less all-over-the-place. I promise.

So it's bedtime for me, now. But lastly - is anyone willing to do a mail exchange? I've given up finding more PB&Co flavors here, and don't really want to order a bajillion jars online. So if anyone is willing to buy a jar or two (I'm especially interested in White Chocolate Wonderful - yum!) and do an exchange for some Larabars, let me know!

Luff you girls! I'll catch up on commenting in the morning. <3